


Four People David Tennant Didn't Have Sex With And One He Did. (Sort Of.)

by copperbadge



Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-05-20
Updated: 2008-05-20
Packaged: 2017-12-20 14:36:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/888411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/copperbadge/pseuds/copperbadge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If he could just get people to seduce him on a regular basis instead of the other way round, things would go much easier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four People David Tennant Didn't Have Sex With And One He Did. (Sort Of.)

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't even have this in mind, but as I was searching for a particular thread in **[Close Your Eyes And Think Of England](http://sam-storyteller.dreamwidth.org/116839.html)** I stumbled across **[this thread instead](http://sam-storyteller.livejournal.com/129218.html?thread=5837506#t5837506)** , which led to this fic. I suppose you could think of it as a sort-of sequel. 
> 
> This RPS business is a slippery slope, isn't it?

1\. John Barrowman

Because Scott is adorable, and John didn't manage to keep hold of him for fifteen years by sleeping with his coworkers.

(Except they did _sleep_ together, just once. On the set of the TARDIS, waiting for lighting to fix something, sitting in a corner. David drooled on John's costume and John snored like a buzz-saw. Freema has photos she promises never to sell to anyone.)

2\. David Thewlis

Saying your own name during sex is just, no.

Also, Gary would be annoyed. Not that Gary Oldman is having sex with David (Thewlis), at least not that David (Tennant) knows, but it messes up their dynamic or something on-set. David (Tennant) hangs out with Jason Isaacs and they gripe about the rugrats and David (Thewlis) looks very serious sitting at a table and writing things in a notebook and David (Tennant) thinks his book was just a little bit crap, but he's never claimed to be a great literary critic or anything. He's _Doctor Who_ , there's only so many stones he can throw.

3\. Gareth David-Lloyd

Boring, so boring, such a _tedious human being_.

That's what David tries to use as justification, even if it's completely a lie. Gareth says "um" a lot and is clearly pretty intimidated by The Great David Tennant (whatever) and he hasn't even got any scenes in the Torchwood blooper reel, because he's never really that funny, that _informal_ , when they're working, but David suspects that Gareth might have layers. He's not a natural scene-stealer, he's not a great talent, but there's a sort of thorough workmanlike effort he puts into every single scene that speaks of unerring professionalism. Gareth has a bright future as an actor and David doesn't want to fuck him up, is the thing.

4\. Derek Jacobi

Oh, _take me,_ Sir Derek.

David knows he hasn't a chance. And even though -- Derek Jacobi, this is _Sir Derek Jacobi_ , and he fancies him rotten, he knows what he sees when he looks at Derek Jacobi. He sees I, Clavdivs and Brother Cadfael and a slew of other Beeb classics. It wouldn't be like having sex with a person, more like having sex with the history of classic British television, and he's not sure he could deal with that. Even if he's sort of part of classic British television himself, now. 

5\. Gareth David-Lloyd

Fuck. 

He is completely aware that Gareth is using him for research because, well, Gareth is a thorough person and Ianto clearly enjoys the buggery. Obviously he can't go to Barrowman and Burn Gorman is straight, straight, straight and crew are risky, you don't know who might tell the papers. But he must have seen David watching him and figured he'd have a go, and he's just so pretty sprawled on David's sheets that David really can't be bothered to regret it. He's not exactly going to fall hopelessly in love with him or anything, so it's a good time while it lasts and he's pretty sure Gareth isn't going to get fucked up over this.

So that's all right, really.

David stares at the ceiling and wonders. If he could just get people to seduce him on a regular basis instead of the other way round, things would go much easier.

"D'you sleep with men often?" Gareth asks, turning to him, propped on an elbow. There's no subtext to the question, not _and is that why you're good at this_ or worse _is that why you're bad at this_ , just curiosity.

David slings an arm over his eyes. "Not as often as I'd like," he sighs.


End file.
